Monday, August 11, 2008

This title is gay!

There are some things that I come across on the internet
that I just have to share. This gentleman puts into
words what I can't on my own.
For those of you who are familiar to my blog,
you know who's blog you are reading. Those of you
who are new, I have some strong opinions about topics
that you might not agree with. I also have what
some religious types would call a 'blasphemous
sense of humor' So don't read it if you are
easily offended. Man, I'm done putting up disclaimers
folks. This is my goddamn blog!

To those to of you who haven’t read Ender’s Game by Orson Scott card, warning: two spoilers follow.
Spoiler 1: Your childhood was incomplete.

Spoiler 2: You know that part where Ender fights that kid Bonzo in the showers and kicks him so hard in the nuts that he kills him?
Well, Card basically did the same thing to logic and decency last week when he tried to convince the American Citizens in his thrall (myself once among them) to
invoke their right of revolution and overthrow the government to stop gay marriage from being legalized.
That’s right, people. The Mormon guy who wrote all those books about the innocence of a child winning out over war and hatred wants us to raise arms against any queers who feel like expressing their love legally. I mean, I understand a devout Mormon having some issues with gayness, but when your brain tells you that it’s an important enough issue to divide the country in a bloody coup, it’s time to get a new brain.

I’m sure there’ll be a whole cavalcade of comments following this post pointing out the merits of homosexuality, its moral deficiency in the eyes of God, and stuff about boobies touching and wieners in butts. So I figured, rather than try to pre-emptively defuse the situation like I usually do, I’ll just say to hell with it and let you know how I really feel. If you totally disagree, feel free to comment, we can agree to disagree, and you can come back in a few days and read something funny I wrote about a celebrity pooping themselves.

Orson Scott Card, you are—and I say this with the reservation of someone who read Speaker for the Dead and wept on a city bus—the worst. I will never buy or read your books again, and I am withdrawing my membership from the Card Superfriends Fan Team and Party Brigade (Sorry, Chet and Dale).

The Mormon’s I’ve known (all lovely people) have always been particularly impervious to logic, but it’s all I’ve got so here I go. Mr. Card, you are as evil, and will one day be as reviled by any sane individual, as an 18th-century slave owner.

Let me explain. Throughout the history of America, and indeed in the course of any developing culture, the universal historical trend (with some notable, but temporary deviances) has been towards expanding rights for an expanding number of people. Women couldn’t vote, now they can. Blacks were treated like pack animals, now they get to live in the inner city and some of them own nice cars. The point is, PROGRESS.

There is no question, absolutely none at all, that you are fighting a battle you can’t win. In a hundred years, flamboyant gay guys will be getting married in fabulous dresses on your grave, and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it.

But worse, when that day finally comes, you will be classed with all those others who stood in the way of expanding rights and humanity: the Ku Klux Klan, Apartheid, the anonymous boardroom of fat men arguing about which secretary has the best ass. And if there’s any justice, even though I’ve no doubt you could fire off a response to this post that would be perfectly eloquent and arresting (in fact, you totally should…my hits would go through the roof), your work will be read only as a curiosity, a way to peek into the mind of a caveman. Or else by lovers of great fiction, who will have to read them, set them down, shrug, and say “well, that was super good, even if the guy was a Neanderthal Nazi.”

And really, what the hell does it matter to you if two hot lesbians want to settle down and be respectable (which isn’t the way I like my hot lesbians either, believe me)? Until such a time as they bring down your property values with raging lesbian drug orgies, you’ve got nothing legitimate to complain about, and even then, I’ll trade houses with you.

Nothing to complain about, that is, besides the so called “degradation” of the Biblical standard of marriage. Upon what are you basing that? A passage or two saying that God hates gays? You know, there’s also a lot of passages about stoning your children to death for disobedience, but I don’t see you cleaning your guns on that account.

Clearly you have taken it upon yourself to prioritize certain portions of the Bible. I am forced to ask then, why in the world would you choose to prioritize the relatively tiny portion about hating and oppressing your fellow men and women, instead of giving precedence to the mountain of passages espousing the virtues of love and compassion for all of God’s children? Or at least the hilarious parts about people having sex with gold statues (Ezekiel 16:17 NIV)?

What would Jesus do? If you can answer that question with anything other than “shower the world with endless love and understanding, then flip a wicked ollie on a flaming skateboard,” then you and I have a very different understanding of the man.

So get with fucking program and stop masking your own personal homophobia as a religious issue. It’s not. It’s a nothing issue that shouldn’t even be a question, and yet has been allowed to dominate the political landscape at a time when thousands of deaths around the world are crying out to be addressed.

You’ve spent your life imagining diverse races and cultures, and doing a hell of a good job. Yet your inability to imagine true love manifesting between two members of the same sex almost classifies you as retarded in my mind. It’s not even a moral issue. You’re just an idiot to me.

And not just an idiot. I’ve seen you in person, Orson. You’re fat. And rich. How about working on some of those deadly sins before throwing the first stone?

I know it’s pointless to ask you to change your mind; bigots armed with the intransigence of religion are rarely swayed. But hopefully some of those reading this post will be forewarned that Orson Scott Card has become a poison-spouting lunatic.

And in the interest of providing yet another argument for gay marriage being a non-issue, as well as some modicum of comedy, here’s a list of the gayest things about heterosexual marriage:
-It expects everyone to dress well and be on time.
-It involves a lot of lace, and at the end the guy cries sometimes.
-Unless something’s gone terribly wrong, no one is pregnant.
-Those tiny sausages they sometimes serve.
-There’s a big foofy cake, like the gays are always having.
-Unless I’m sorely mistaken, God’s got no problem with it.

credit to Cracked


Booth and Tiffany Jenson said...

You are probably right Teisha. Things are going to continue to get worse. All people can do is stand up for what they believe in. Allowing these types of things to happen desensitizes everyones views and that is how things continue to get worse. It's not a good thing. I know that my thoughts on this are coming from a religous background, but I have tried living outside of religion and I have never been able to find any real satisfaction or joy in life when I have done this. I think people have every right to do what they want in private, but I don't see any sense in allowing same sex marriages. The whole purpose of marriage is to start a family and I think it is kind of hard for two men or women to do that naturally.

Teisha said...

My dear sister. You know how much I love you. This is no way meant to offend you or anyone that chooses to read it. But, you've always known how I felt about this, and I will continue to feel this way. By your logic, the point of marriage is to start a family. But, there are plenty of heterosexual people who cannot have children naturally. They have to get surrogates or try adoption. So, since you cannot have a family, you should not be allowed to get married. Or there are people who choose not to have children at all. I don't think this was your point, I'm just trying to understand. To me marriage is about making a commitment in the eyes of the government and state to a person you love. Also, you have to understand that government and religion have to be seperate in this country. It hasn't always been the case, but this country was founded on the idea of being free of religious oppression. And, in the eyes of the law, denying people of the same sex to get married is completely unconstitutional. That is why it will not be long until it is legal everywhere in the United States. Everyone has the right to their opinion, but your opinion should not get in the way of someone elses happiness.

Jess said...

Hmm. Teish, I wouldn't worry about disclaimers.

Now, this Cracked fellow/lady is FUNNY! Blasphemous or not. I don't know about Jesus doing an ollie on his skateboard, but I am right there with the rest of the characterization. I am not one of those crazies that translates the cleansing of the temple to justify violence and anger.

That being said, gay marriage is an issue that I have not fully reconciled myself. From the civics side I truly believe in "equal protection under the law," and therefore lean toward "civil unions" or "domestic partnerships." But that raises the question of "separate but equal" and I also believe that "separate is inherently unequal." From the religious side, I firmly believe in "the Plan" but also that the Creator and Christ love all unconditionally.


There are people that I love so much that are affected by this issue. I guess my approach for now is to love all regardless, and have faith that good people will get their just reward in the end.

I hope that doesn't sound like a cop out. It is definitely an issue I have spent some time thinking about.

Booth and Tiffany Jenson said...

my dear sister, that was a comment from your dear brother in law, you know i wouldnt argue about these things with you, come on!! i love ya no matter! me being just a humble folk dont even understand half of all those big words used??? sheesh laweesh

Teisha said...

Haha, that's funny. I was a little surprised that you would say anything. So it all makes sense now. Of course Booth disagrees with me on everything. Love ya Boo.

Tara said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tara said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Teisha said...

Hey now, who is posting shit and deleting it? Come on, don't be shy.

Tara said...

It was me! Sorry I just thought I shouldn't get involved in this one. Love ya!

P.S. I'm totally offended that you called Orson Scott Card fat. HOw rude!

Teisha said...

I didn't call him fat. The dude who wrote the article did. I just agreed.

Kelley Rae said...

K so I was gone for two weeks and come back to this ... Wow! So I don't think you have to ask where I stand on this issue, I'm pretty conservative to say the least. But at the same time I really enjoy listening to your reasoning and found my self surprised on which points I agreed with. Does this issue take prescedence over a war being fought for the wrong reason? Over an outdated education system that is leaving us farther and farther behind in the world than ever before? Above autrocities committed every day that have become commonplace? Of course there are far greater things to be concerning ourselves with. But (brace yourself for the part you may not like) I don't think there are any "small parts" to the gospel or teachings of Christ, and as much as it may seem ridiculous, my belief is that marriage should be between a husband and a wife. Not because I am blinded by organized religion, but because everything else I hold as fundamental beliefs about myself and my existence tells me that it's right. Sorry - you wanted a debate, and I wouldn't even say anything if I wasn't interested in a good conversation about it! Still love ya even if you are rolling your eyes at me right now and angered by my smallmindedness!

Teisha said...

Kelley, I am really glad that you chose to say something. I never put these things up and hope that no one comments about them. I do realize that my small audience here on blogger is mainly religious. And I am very aware that your teachings go against gay marriage. I am starting to realize that maybe it's a bad idea to try and convince anyone what is right or wrong. Especially people of a religious background. But I really ask you guys to try to put yourself in someone elses shoes. No one is trying to hurt anyone here. I am going to post something that I think everyone should take a moment to watch. Again it is someone who can say things a lot better than I ever could.

heather said...

Wow, i too missed much while gone. In a nutshell I have found myself taking more of a liberal stand than falling into my republican party that i have always been. Because my feelings are as such, (without the Orson guys words which are just regurgitated nonsense in my opinion) am i gay? no. do i believe that it is wrong? for me, yes? do i judge others who have made their own choices? no, how could i when i have been allowed my choice without prejudice. I feel in my heart religion aside (which is a contradiction in terms because my heart is filled with my religion) that we are all here to choose our own paths, be it right or wrong in whomever's eyes. I would honestly never hope to have to go through a close relative or child choosing to pursue this lifestyle, but if i were to, i would hope our government would see them as people just the same and afford them the same rights that i have. Does it hurt me or my faith to see a same sex marriage? I get a little icky feeling I will admit, but they're their own people choosing for themselves. We live in the the land of the free, which has permitted me to practice the faith that I believe in wholeheartedly, I think it should also include the choices others make even if it is the exact opposite of my own. That is my spill. As uninformed as it may be.

Never hold back who you are Teisha, don't ever think you have to hide these parts of your thoughts. We all have nothing but love for you.

I'm surprised, where are Birds two cents?

Teisha said...

Yay, Heather. I was so waiting to here what you had to say. And just so you know you said exactly what I was thinking. I'm terrible at getting my point across. I really think everyone needs to realize that no matter if you think it is gross or unnatural, it is discrimination. Oh man, this whole thing is really getting me down. I love all you guys, and I'm so glad that you all decided to comment. But I think maybe I will avoid posting stuff like this anymore. Not because I don't like people disagreeing with me. These things just eat away at me. I think about it nonstop and it really starts to be upsetting. I just want everyone to know that something like this could affect people that are close to you, or it already does affect them now. Even if you don't realize it.

Tara said...

Teisha you are such a doll. I originally commented and then deleted because honestly it is such a confusing topic for me. I feel totally torn.

Anyway don't apologize or refrain from posting things like this. It is just your opinion and we all know you and can respect that.

Love ya!

heather said...

I hope I didn't say anything to offended, because that was furthest from my intentions. I don't think I made this point clear enough though, so here I go again.

When I spoke of the icky feeling it is because I don't understand it and know that I never truly will. Would I ever look upon family, friends or even strangers with such disgust if that was their lifestyle? Never!
(Bare with me here, i'm about to cross some lines) I have friends with family that have come out with their feelings for the opposite sex and it has seemed unbearable for those families. Only (but not needing any more reason) because of religion. So with my beliefs and simple understanding of gays here is my synopsis on the, How is a person gay? I think that people are born gay. I think that people can experience so much sexually in a lifetime that it is only a natural (for them)progression. Try it all mentality. Either way whatever the circumstance may be, innate or a wider sexual experience it s a choice. We are all born with vices, and we are all given the choice on whether or not we will act on them. Take someone from a long line of alcoholics who now in their own life chooses to abstain from alcohol because they can feel their bodies screaming out for it. They sense the urge seeing it as a path they would not want to go down, so they abstain. Am I casting a stone at anyone who drinks or has homosexual feelings? No! For me they are things I don't believe that I personally should mess with. Does that mean that my own choice should dictate the rest of the worlds? No. I will live my own life the way I see fit, hoping that any example given was in a becoming light. I feel (again touchy because I can't speak for any one person) that homosexual tendencies can be just that, a tendency. A burning one that never goes away, but if there is a will to chose another lifestyle, there is a way. (Such touchy stuff, please don't jump all over me on this because these are my opinions backed with no data. I'm claiming simpleminded like Kelley here.)
So here lies the part of a choice that I will defend, we are all here to make our own choices, even if others disagree vehemently on either or both sides. I believe in the end we will all answer for choices that we have made and for the life that we have led. I hope when that day comes for me that I can have my plate of judgment clean because I feel it is only His judgment, and not my own. I am only here to worry about my families and my own path. The path anyone else chooses to lead is just that. Would I hope that everyone could see it my way? of course. Am I about to shove it down anybodies throat? never. Love one another, as I love you. Right?
I obviously respect your opinion and enjoy your thoughts. I love that we can have our opinions as differing as they may be and still meet in the middle with friendship. You are a great person Teish, and an even better friend. I value it greatly and hope that my views skewed as they may seem to you can be read and appreciated as your's were. LOVE!

Oh and I promise I will watch the video. Isn't it funny how a 20 min long video seems like an eternal time commitment on the internet? I'll get my kiddies up an outta my hair and give it a listen.

Anonymous said...


Posts like these are important. They can create a forum for good discussion. They also present an opportunity for people to express their thoughts and ideas on subjects, where verbally it might be difficult for them. I am really impressed with Heather’s comments. It can be difficult to express yourself with a group of people, but here it is easier. With that said, keep creating topics and posts like these. They are valuable and a great learning opportunity for all who read them.

So, now to me and my ideas and thoughts on this issue. I consider myself a proud member of the “Christian Left”, there is indeed such a thing. I have never felt perplexed or on the fence on this issue. My liberal social views, believe it or not, really began to develop while I was on my mission, I didn’t realize or acknowledge it at the time, but looking back I realize it now. I realized that this world is huge and there are so many people living in it. They each have different cultures, lifestyles, religion etc. My faith is so small in the whole scheme. I have no right to dictate through a government sanctioned law what is moral and what should be legal based upon my religious beliefs. I do realize some would classify murder, stealing, etc as moral based issues, but in this forum I am not. Those are things the far majority of the public agree with as being wrong. They are wrong because the harm innocent people. Gay marriage does not, this is key.

I am not a constitutional law major or expert. However I do know that in order to make gay married illegal it looks like it will need to be written into the U.S. Constitution. Now when I hear that beady eyed Bush say things like this and his desire to do so it infuriates me. The constitution and bill of rights was not created with the purpose of limiting the rights of individuals in this country. They were created to protect them and enhance them. For example the 19th amendment giving women the right to vote, the 13th amendment abolishing slavery. Other forms of legislation have passed reinforcing civil liberties, Civil Rights Act of 1964 and Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990. There have been pieces of legislation that were intended to protect individual’s rights and create more equality but were defeated, for example The Equal Rights Amendment of 1982. I would encourage all of you ladies to look at this legislation because it applies to you as females. The LDS church helped defeat this legislation, and I am not sure why.

Why on earth would we as a country feel it necessary to put in our constitution, (something we should value more than anything, even American Idol) an amendment denying a fellow American equal rights and privileges? Because supposedly somewhere in the bible it says being gay is wrong, where the hell does it say that anyway. We have got to come up with a better argument than that. I am not a lawyer, but legally that is not a defense. Neither is the whole marriage is an ancient institution argument, that is hogwash, people piss on marriage every day. I work with a lady who has been married six times and she isn’t even 40. And we are worry about the gays getting married and making a mockery of marriage, hogwash!

In my opinion there can be several aspects to a marital relationship. I am going to talk about the legal and religious aspects.

First the legal

In the eyes of the state (local, state and federal government) marriage is an agreement, a legal agreement. If you get married and want it recognized by the state you go get a license. You have to pay $60.00 or whatever the fee is, hogwash as well. It is similar as to licensing your car, you pay a fee so Sally-Sue middle aged house wife can have a job and get out of the house while her teenage kids are at school (so she thinks, they actually ditch school while she is at work and get hot and heavy with their girlfriend on the couch in the basement while she is handing out wedding licenses at the county building, I can speak from experience on this). Now we get this license because that is how it has been done for years and subconsciously some of us want the recognition that we are married, look at me I am an adult now. We also want the legal benefits that come with being married, well we probably don’t realize it at the time because it is just assumed but I know that without those legal rights if something were to happen to my wife or I it would be a nightmare with property, monetary, and even parental rights. By being married and having that legal status by the state we are somewhat protected. I know you can write up legal documents that give power of attorney and other legal rights to a partner but who takes the time to do that, no one. By not granting gay marriage we are denying a portion of our society all the rights that the rest us have the privilege to enjoy and we really take for granted. Civil unions are bullshit, separate and not equal. They are a slap in the face.

Religious aspect.

I am generalizing now, and doing so from my own experience and from those around me. Some people get married because there is a spiritual/religious importance behind it. They want their marriage to take place in their church, temple, etc. It is also a part of their culture and their religion. It helps define who they are.

This aspect should have no bearing on the legal aspect and the legal aspect should have no bearing on the religious. They should be separate and people should be afforded the right to choose what aspects they want in their relationship.

I do believe if a religious institution does not wish to recognize a marriage, gay or straight, they have the right to do so. They also have the right to deny membership to anyone. The state should not interfere with what a religious institution practices and how they practice their religion. However if laws are broken in the practice of that religion then it is the states obligation to protect the innocent and enforce the law. If a religious institution expects these rights and protection under the law then they need to realize others have the right to be protected from a religion and its practices.

The LDS church has been on the wrong side of a few issues, Equal Rights Amendment, gay marriage, polygamy and blacks and the priesthood. The LDS church’s position on gay marriage will never change and that is fine and I understand that. But when it opposes it through legislation, the church is supporting the denial of equal rights and protection under the law for all Americans. The same protection the church pleaded for in Nauvoo, Missouri, Ohio and the Utah territory in the 19th century.

I do believe the U.S. Supreme Court will strike down all state laws baring same sex marriage. That is why this election is so important. McCain has professed his intention to nominate judges who are similar to Scalia and Thomas. This, in my opinion would be devastating to us all.

Please feel free to tar and feather me now.

heather said...

Ahh, there's our Birdy that we have all come to love.

Anonymous said...

That is all you are going to say Heather?

Kelley Rae said...

I want to say thanks too; Bird is right Teish is saying that you should keep posting things like this because it does make it easier to express feelings and opinions and learn from each other too. I really appreciated Heather's point of view, it said things in a way I couldn't, and Bird added more intellect to it than I ever could. I'm at an impass in some regards because there is no logical or lawful reason against homosexual marriage, the only arguments that can be made are purely religious. But should my beliefs take away liberties of others? The obvious and only humane answer is no. Does that mean I will be in the next pride parade? Probably not. Teish, I hope in no way did you think I was offended, and I hate to think I caused you worry. Please don't stop being you, and please don't think you have to hide parts of you from us Mormons! I'm crazy enought to work at a junior high, I think I can handle a little Teisha! :)