Friday, July 25, 2008

The Crush

So, my last post, I gave some people a hard
time for their crush on Tim McGraw (I stand by
what I posted). My dear Heather posted a rebuttal
to my claims and also posted some other crushes.
I felt it was only fair to list mine, so everyone can
have their opportunity to even the playing field. So, here it goes.
The Nerd

I'm sure you are all aware of my adoration
for Mr. Folds. It is mainly his sense of humor
and his musical talent. And I'm a huge fan
of glasses.

Just thought I'd throw that in there...just cause.

The Dark Side

I'm a huge fan of Nine Inch Nails and Trent Reznor. Again it is mainly
the musical talent. But a lot of you know I'm a
goth at heart.

The Accent

Yes, Mr. 300 himself. I'm a sucker for an accent.
Especially if it's scottish. No I haven't seen
P.S. I Love You, and I never will. Damn chick flicks....

The Funny Men

I have consolidated the next 4 into one group.
They are all hilarious. Jack Black - in funny ass
movies such as High Fidelity, Orange County,
and part of the most badass rock duo in all history,
Tenacious D. Seth McFarlene - creator of Family Guy
and American Dad. Trey Parker and Matt Stone -
creators of South Park, Orgazmo, Baseketball,
Cannibal the Musical and so on. I love people
who can make me laugh.

And to end this list...

The Brains

Richard Dawkins is a British ethologist, evolutionary biologist
and popular science writer. He is also my hero for his
views on atheism, evolution, creationism and religion.
Yes, I know it's scary, but I'm giving you guys plenty
of ammunition here.

Honorable Mentions

Patrick Stewart

Billy Idol
Still lookin' good.

Okay, I really never intend for my posts to be so long.
But, I can't help myself. Either way...have at me ladies.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Comic Sans is a bitch!

This is pure genius.


I really hate having to prove a point here on my blog,
but I cannot post pictures in the comments.
So - Heather and Tara - Tim McGraw is not hot.

Do you wonder why he wears that hat all the time?


Lookin' good.

Crap, now I have pictures of him all over my blog.
Curse you Tim McGraw!

Monday, July 21, 2008

I'm the goddamn Batman!

The Dark Knight was incredible...

And I really wish that Heath Ledger
hadn't died. I could imagine him
starring in a movie based completely
around the Joker.

There is a lot of language in this gif,
and it is long, but completely hilarious.


I usually try to wait a few days to post
something new. Ya know, so you guys can catch up and
make your comments.
But I see so many funny and strange things on
the internets, and I must share them all
with you. So, from now on, just remember to
scroll down after the most recent post.
As I'm sure I will be posting daily.

Friday, July 18, 2008

The Whore Ride

*After posting this and re-reading it, I figured
I would put a little disclaimer.
This post might be considered offensive
to any of you who are religious, or who
don't have a sense of humor.
I am an atheist and I have no shame.
End disclaimer*

To start it off, I am seriously excited about this.
So I am going to post it and get it out of the way.

Okay, there.

Just a small update. I am sure nothing anyone is
itching to here about. This is all an attempt
to help me remember everything, as my memory
is getting worse and worse (Jess- I do not remember
the conversation you mentioned in my previous
post. But I'm glad I was there for you).

So, I went to Lagoon last Sunday. I have not
been to Lagoon in 10 years. But my friend works
there, and it was also Employee Appreciation
day. So we got admission for 10 bucks. It was
also Catholic Day, but more on that later.

On the way there, we saw some crazy homeless
dude just losing it. He was yelling at
the sidewalk and jerking around. I tried
to get some video footage of it, but he stopped
before I could. So I will just post
this instead.

Things have changed quite a bit. There were loads of new rides.
The Flying Carpet is gone, which I must admit I was a little sad
about. They had the Samurai there intead, and it was not running.
We went on a few classics, and I made it on three of the newer
rides. I guess The Rocket isn't very new, but it was to me.
The Rocket and Wicked were spectacular rides. I love the feeling
of falling, and both gave you that sensation ten fold. We would have
made it on more rides, but after every ride we decided to
head back to our picnic area for a beer break
(Mojito beers are quite refreshing on a hot day).

Side note about Catholic Day. Okay, there were a few families
wandering the park with these handmade pro-choice
shirts on. These shirts had pictures of fetuses on them.
This didn't bother me so much, but they had all of their
small children wearing these same shirts.
I even saw a baby with a onesie (sp?) This is just a small
rant on religion, please take no offense. I
understand these are individuals and I do not blame the whole religion.
But these children have absolutely no idea what these shirts
mean. The parents are using their child for some propaganda
that they couldn't even begin to understand. Okay...
I am going to stop there, I almost went into some
territory where I might offend or hurt some friends.
If you guys want my opinion you can ask, I will move on.

I will add, I also saw this shirt-

I could not stop laughing. Again, apologies if I'm
offending anyone, but really?
Really you decided to spread the message of jesus
and catholicism with a cheesy shirt at Lagoon?
Do people think that if jesus really
existed, he would approve of such things?

I'm done apologizing.

So we went on the Whore Ride (named because Brandon kept
calling the Terror Ride - the Horror Ride, and it sounded
like the Whore Ride to me. I know, it's juvenile).
This ride gave me recurring nightmares as a child.
I always thought they were going to shut the ride down
with me in it, and then shut the whole park down.
The lady on the front opening and closing the shutters
sent shivers down my spine.

I completely forgot about the extremely creepy mural
painted on the front. I had a conversation with Monica,
because it seemed that the purpose was to have a collage
of a bunch of scary things. There's a creepy ape, a dragon,
some skeletons. But, I see this orangutan tucked in the back.
His arms look like they used to be holding something, but has
now dissappeared. Brandon told me he used to be holding a
banjo, but they removed it. Probably due to offending
the abundant amounts of white trash wandering the park.
But the park wasn't as concerned about the voodoo looking
African guy. I guess the guy who painted this mural
also decided that a black guy joined the ranks of
spooky things.

Click on the picture to get a larger view.

This post is a lot longer than I had expected.
Anyway, things I have learned from my Lagoon
trip. Candy cigarettes look more like joints now,
some catholics are retarded, homeless guys
are hilarious, and to the guy who painted that
mural - You're doing it wrong.

You're Doing it Wrong

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Hey guys! Let's just talk about me for a minute.

1. As a comment on my blog, leave a memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you know me a little or a lot, anything you remember! If we're only blogging friends, post a comment that is the most memorable for you.

2. Next, if you feel so inclined, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. If you leave a memory about me, I'll be sure to write one about you...!


Friday, July 11, 2008


One of my goals was to finish a drawing
I had started way back in November 2006.
I finished the face in about 3 hours.

Now, I have not taken art classes since
junior high. I do not have any sort of
technical background. I basically just
practiced my ass off. Not until I started
posting my work on DeviantArt did I really
understand I was using all the wrong materials.
So, when it comes to drawing, I feel like a
beginner. That was just a long side note.

So, I finished the face. Then I had to move
on to the hair. Now, let me just tell you.
I hate drawing hair, I've never really been that
great at it. And I'm never satisfied with the
outcome. So, I usually procrastinate when it comes
to the hair. In this particular picture I
managed to procrastinate for over a year and a
half. And last night I just decided I needed to
finish it so I can move on to another drawing.
I have been drawing since, but they were all
commissioned pictures for friends and family.
And I'm so excited I can say that I'm done, and
in general I am pleased with the outcome...except
for the hair ;)

Click on the image to get a larger view.
If you would like to take a look at some of my other
drawings, just follow this link -
My gallery is a little small, but a lot of pictures
I forgot to get scans of before I gave them away.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Essential Life Lesson #1: Over is Right, Under is Wrong

Courtesy of

As part of our ongoing effort here at Current Configuration to make your life not only better, but also 10% more crunchy, we’re offering you this first installment of what will be an ongoing series of Essential Life Lessons. Kicking off this series will be a critical but even-handed examination of a common misunderstanding that occurs in a realm of many misunderstandings: the bathroom.

Put simply, there is a right way to hang the toilet paper, and a wrong way. Read on to determine the status of your own roll.

Toilet paper has a natural curve, a way of being that lends itself to certain orientations on the toilet paper spool.* If handled with skill and knowledge, it can provide an abundance of both sanitation and comfort, quilted together in each square of pillowy ply. If handled with clumsy ignorance, or worse, carelessness, it will beset the user with pain, filth, and frustration. Don’t let it end this way, with you curled on the tile floor of the stall, weeping in frustration, covered in wasted papier de toilette. To convince you, we’ve created some diagrams, harnessing the power of SCIENCE, to demonstrate the natural benefits of the over hanging method. First, we examine the optimal viewing benefits of the over hanging method.

Below are examples of the helpful and fruitful over-hung method on the left and the annoying and detrimental under-hung method on the right.

Notice the dramatic difference in the amount of visible toilet paper. Ironically, it is the over-hung toilet paper that has both the most visible free sheetage and the least amount of sheetage free from the roll to do it. Now, this may not seem like a big deal on its own, but in these extra sheets lies your undoing. Observe.

We here at Current Configuration, for the purposes of ease and expediency, do the one-handed tear (okay, really, it’s just me, but bear with me, er, us). The one-handed tear is a quick maneuver that takes advantage of the perforated squares, allowing your bundle of toilet paper to be liberated with one quick swipe of the arm. This is the foundation of bathroom ease, the cottony bedrock on which enjoyment rests in the restrooms of many nations.

The one-handed tear relies on a quick and forceful motion directed either away from or towards the tear-er. The forces applied in this motion are great and, like the atom, are not to be trifled with. The natural curve of the over-hung method allows the roll to stand fast after a one-handed tear, but the under-hung method creates a calamitous tendency in the roll. This tendency can only lead to this:

Wasted paper, frustration, the destruction of our forests. While we realize that it is possible to execute a one-handed tear on an under-hung roll, this is a game of sanitary Russian roulette. You are bound to lose eventually, and there is no re-rolling an unwound toilet paper roll. The results will only cause you grief. Don’t let this happen to you. Restroom attendants, janitors, maids, facilities crews, and responsible toiletowners take note: Don’t use the under-hung method for your toilet paper rolls. It leads to the destruction of our precious resources and the pillars of civilization as we know it!

*Does that thing have a proper name?

I post this because of my work, and how irritating the toilet paper thingy is.
Not only is it always hung under, but it is so tight, that I barely pull on the thing, and it tears. So I get one square at a time. Hmmm...maybe that was done on purpose.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.

Okay, so I went to fetish night at
Area 51. Monica and I were extremely
excited about this particular one, because
the theme was burlesque, and we love
burlesque. If you aren't sure what
burlesque is and are curious to find out,
follow the wiki.
You will have to copy and paste the link.
For some reason links will not show on my page.

Some of the burlesque stars in it's heyday:

Lili St. Cyr

Gypsy Rose Lee

Sherry Britton

And of course - Miss Betty Page

More recently, Dita Von Teese has brought back this classic
form of entertainment and also brought back it's fashion.
She is the queen of burlesque today.

Aaannnnyway, there was supposed to be a performing
burlesque troupe, but it was nothing short of ridiculous.
They were basically belly dancers with top hats.
They not only had no clue what they were doing, but also
they didn't seem to have any idea about burlesque and
the tease. So that was dissapointing to say the least.
I tried to dress up the best I could. But my poor little
hat kept falling off. This is the only decent picture I got
with hat half way on.

So that was that.

One last thing. I am just going to call this now.
I need record of it, because I know this is going
to happen. And I love being right. Here it goes.

Heath Ledger will get a posthumous Oscar nomination for
The Dark Knight. I haven't seen the movie yet,
only trailers. But, mark my words....he will.

I'm so excited for this movie. *shimmies*
While we're on the subject, head on over
to (one of my favorite websites)
for a hilarious article on who is the best
movie Batman ever.
Copy and Paste y'all. You won't regret it.