The Whore Ride

*After posting this and re-reading it, I figured
I would put a little disclaimer.
This post might be considered offensive
to any of you who are religious, or who
don't have a sense of humor.
I am an atheist and I have no shame.
End disclaimer*



To start it off, I am seriously excited about this.
So I am going to post it and get it out of the way.



Okay, there.

Just a small update. I am sure nothing anyone is
itching to here about. This is all an attempt
to help me remember everything, as my memory
is getting worse and worse (Jess- I do not remember
the conversation you mentioned in my previous
post. But I'm glad I was there for you).

So, I went to Lagoon last Sunday. I have not
been to Lagoon in 10 years. But my friend works
there, and it was also Employee Appreciation
day. So we got admission for 10 bucks. It was
also Catholic Day, but more on that later.

On the way there, we saw some crazy homeless
dude just losing it. He was yelling at
the sidewalk and jerking around. I tried
to get some video footage of it, but he stopped
before I could. So I will just post
this instead.



Things have changed quite a bit. There were loads of new rides.
The Flying Carpet is gone, which I must admit I was a little sad
about. They had the Samurai there intead, and it was not running.
We went on a few classics, and I made it on three of the newer
rides. I guess The Rocket isn't very new, but it was to me.
The Rocket and Wicked were spectacular rides. I love the feeling
of falling, and both gave you that sensation ten fold. We would have
made it on more rides, but after every ride we decided to
head back to our picnic area for a beer break
(Mojito beers are quite refreshing on a hot day).



Side note about Catholic Day. Okay, there were a few families
wandering the park with these handmade pro-choice
shirts on. These shirts had pictures of fetuses on them.
This didn't bother me so much, but they had all of their
small children wearing these same shirts.
I even saw a baby with a onesie (sp?) This is just a small
rant on religion, please take no offense. I
understand these are individuals and I do not blame the whole religion.
But these children have absolutely no idea what these shirts
mean. The parents are using their child for some propaganda
that they couldn't even begin to understand. Okay...
I am going to stop there, I almost went into some
territory where I might offend or hurt some friends.
If you guys want my opinion you can ask, I will move on.

I will add, I also saw this shirt-



I could not stop laughing. Again, apologies if I'm
offending anyone, but really?
Really you decided to spread the message of jesus
and catholicism with a cheesy shirt at Lagoon?
Do people think that if jesus really
existed, he would approve of such things?





I'm done apologizing.

So we went on the Whore Ride (named because Brandon kept
calling the Terror Ride - the Horror Ride, and it sounded
like the Whore Ride to me. I know, it's juvenile).
This ride gave me recurring nightmares as a child.
I always thought they were going to shut the ride down
with me in it, and then shut the whole park down.
The lady on the front opening and closing the shutters
sent shivers down my spine.



I completely forgot about the extremely creepy mural
painted on the front. I had a conversation with Monica,
because it seemed that the purpose was to have a collage
of a bunch of scary things. There's a creepy ape, a dragon,
some skeletons. But, I see this orangutan tucked in the back.
His arms look like they used to be holding something, but has
now dissappeared. Brandon told me he used to be holding a
banjo, but they removed it. Probably due to offending
the abundant amounts of white trash wandering the park.
But the park wasn't as concerned about the voodoo looking
African guy. I guess the guy who painted this mural
also decided that a black guy joined the ranks of
spooky things.

Click on the picture to get a larger view.


This post is a lot longer than I had expected.
Anyway, things I have learned from my Lagoon
trip. Candy cigarettes look more like joints now,
some catholics are retarded, homeless guys
are hilarious, and to the guy who painted that
mural - You're doing it wrong.








You're Doing it Wrong