Sunday, May 10, 2009

Catching Up

So I have been really avoiding posting lately. I have had
no motivation at all. But I figured I might as well
post some stuff, as I'm sure you are all tired of being
spammed with my jewelry stuff (more to come by the way).

So first off. My dad is huge into snowmobiling. He has been
doing it since I can remember. He took me and my sister I think
when I was 10. And I have not been invited on an expedition
since. I always complained, and asked him why. Still, 19 years
later, my dad claims it was because my sister and I complained
too much about the cold. Mind you I was 10 and my sister was
probably 8. Generally two little girls are going to complain
about the cold. So one particular weekend I had tried to
go to Vegas. And some drama ensued with some friends that
made it so I couldn't go. I think my dad saw how upset I was
about the whole situation, and probably out of pity asked
if I wanted to go snowmobiling. Of course I said yes.

So I was regretting it when I had to be up by 6:30 on
a saturday. My dad and I headed up to I don't know where,
because I really don't pay attention to these things.
We listened to satellite radio on the way up.
The uncensored comedy station. And let me just tell you
My family really has no shame. We encouraged my grandma
to flash people in a limo we got her for her birthday.
But the comdey channel more than once made both of us
a little uncomfortable with it's content. Some things a
father and daughter should not be laughing about because
it's true.

Anyway, we had to sit at a grocery store for about 45 minutes
for the group to get there. Still listening to the comedy
channel. When we finally got to the destination, I was
equipped with some things that I can't remember what
they were called, because it's been too long.

This little device is supposed to help me in case there is
an avalanche. I believe it is supposed to help locate me.
Needless to say I didn't get one of these when I was little,
and it freaked me out a bit. So after they equipped me with this,
they all cracked a beer, and got on their sleds (yikes).

As we get started, I must tell you my dad it pretty crazy.
He first told me there are two rules: hang on, and hang on.
I laughed it off. But for real, I was hanging on for dear life.
I was hanging on to my dad with my arms, and clinging to the seat
with my inner thighs. These things can go fucking fast.

After about 10 minutes of riding, this happens:

Beer break.

We hang out, eat jerky and drink. I did not drink at all, because
I did not want to attempt to take off that whole jumpsuit
to pop a squat in the snow. I determined to not take a pee.

We rode for probably another 20 minutes and then:

Another beer/wine/whatever is in that flask break.
Which freaked me out, because a competition started.

You see this giant, steep hill? And do you see that tiny speck.
Well the speck is a snowmobile? And they needed to see who could
ride the highest. It was crazy to watch, and of course my dad
had to be a part of it.

This is the person that won. But I can't remember who that was.
There were these rad little tins that you could hook to the inside
of the engine. And you would put sausages or ham inside and the
engine would cook them. They were deliscious.

The day went on, and we lost a few people a few times.
A few people got stuck, and it was pretty hilarious.
As the day progressed, I was encouraged to take a sled
out by myself. I was reluctant at first, but I relented.
And it was really difficult. It takes a lot of technique,
and a whole hell of a lot of muscle. But I did like it.
I felt pretty rad, and pretty tough. And I wasn't even drunk,
because of the pee thing.

My dad was riding with his buddy Jeff on bitch. When I caught up to them,
they had tipped the sled. I really wish I had gotten a picture.
It was pretty hilarious. Anyway, we had about a total of 6 beer
breaks. It was a beautiful day though. Not cold at all, in fact
it was a little hot with all of the layers I had on. I was EXTREMELY
sore the next day from hanging on. I would totally do it again
though, but only if I could wake up later, and if I had one of these:

Women, Now You Can...PEE STANDING UP! - Funny blooper videos are here

Also wanted to give a shout out to my mom. She really is
the coolest mom ever. She is always the life of the party
(just like me...) And if anyone wants to disagree, it will
end with a dance off and a punch to the face. Love you mom!

By the way, those are free drink tokens. And that is my mom's:
'Hey, I have free drinks coming to me, and you don't' - face.


Libby said...

Sweet pictures. Also, WHAT? A device exists that cooks random meats inside an engine? I've heard about people frying eggs on the hoods of their cars but THIS? How did I not know about this? So, you can put some meat in (ha ha ha), ride around to cook it and then take a break to eat it? I'm stunned... Do they make versions compatible with Subaru sedans? Look into that for me.

Tess said...

That looks like a fun day, except for the waking up at 6:30 part. I agree, this meat cooking sounds pretty cool. And lol at that peemate video... I'm not sure I would use that, it seems like there is potential for disaster.

Æxï§ said...

Oh man! I'm SO JEALOUS! I've never been snowmobiling, which wouldn't usually bother me because I'm pretty much never into doing anything snow-related. However, snowmobiling has always been the exception! Looks like you all had a blast!
Nice shout-out to yo momma, btw! She sounds pretty awesome, but I may have to challenge you to that dance-off because I truly believe that my own mom is the coolest ever! Oh, and good luck punching a pregnant woman in the face! ;P

Tara said...

Your parents are freakin cool if I remember correctly. That is hilarious about all the beer breaks! How classic. I'm glad you survived and had a good time!

P.S. that was me texting you this weekend. I was trying to organize a quick breakfast or something but it didn't work out. It was way short notice. love ya!

Jess said...

Love the trip with Dad and friends! That's when you know you have a cool dad, and that he thinks you're cool too.

I am glad that the one who stayed sober was probably the only one who doesn't know how to work the avalanche beacons!!!

Laura said...

So there are way better pee funnels than that one. Like this one:

And I KNOW it's not a you've actually got to copy it and paste it into your browser. I would pee into that thing with confidence, man.

Now that I've hooked you up with that, you owe it to me to sneak me in the next time your dad goes snowmobiling. It's just common courtesy.

Maranda said...

All those beer breaks crack me up...

I agree with Tara...I remember your parents being the live of the party, always entertaining and fun to be around.

Booth and Tiffany Jenson said...

douche, it's my turn next time. but you'd have to come too, cuz we'd entertain them